it is now 5:24 in the evening. i just got in the office after braving some fierce rush hour traffic (wichita-style). and down the hall, there is either some late-80s/early-90s country and western music playing, or it might be some early-90s era hosanna praise and worship music. i don't know which. and all of this background to say this:

today has been good. i ate downtown for no particular reason. i'm about to go hang out at a pool with a bunch of pretty cool high school kids..and i'm getting paid to do so. i also bought a microwave today for the dorm room this year. and i'm excited about it.

i haven't posted for a while, but i'm looking to fix this. i apologize...

soon....

have a great day.

its funny

so today has been good. i finally got pics from africa on my computer. and driving around town, running out of gas, and plenty of other things. anyways, its funny how friends can put something down in words and how it can say exactly what you have been thinking and feeling for a good while.

since coming back from ghana, culture shock has hit me a few times. though, looking around a room with thousands of dollars of computers and music equipment and looking out at a parking lot at my car, its hard to wrap my mind around the thought that less than a month ago i was a completely different world away. the fact that i was standing next to a kid that was literally eating my trash and now i'm sitting in a room with enough to feed his whole family for a year is hard to process. and you'd think there would be a feeling of guilt.

but there's not, i'm more trying to figure out what to do now. i've seen this and what do i do now? where can i best put my resources? which causes can i be most effective with?
and then...you figure out that it is not my job to bring aid to a continent (though, i certainly have a responsibility to help and do what i can) it is not my job to heal nations and show people life. that is Christ's gig, and the church should have a part in it, but ultimately my biggest task is living in a way that brings attention (or fame, or glory) to Christ.

my main job is to point every ounce of my life back onto Jesus, because He is the one who will heal nations and give life. so all i do should simply point back to that.

father's day and space

the last few days have been pretty rough. coming back from africa and figuring out where to place that, father's day, a little bit of sickness, and this book is kicking my butt. don't get me wrong, i really love the fact that i've gotten to go halfway around the world and work at a great church this summer, but probably because of jetlag and the fact that sleep is harder and the fact that i'm reading a book about God's love and father's day was a couple of days ago...i think i've gotten a lot of things wrong. i think i've dramatically underrated who God is and thought too highly of myself. i think...and this is just thinking...that maybe i need to listen a lot more. over the last few weeks i've realized that i am quite young and that i don't know alot. i'm quite a bit more naive than i thought.

so i'm listening

and waiting

and standing completely in awe of who God is, and who i'm not. and in this moment i don't feel like sharing or singing, just sitting and listening and hoping that i don't miss whats happening.

and then...eventually...comes the reaction:
And I’m trying to make you sing
From inside where you believe
Like it’s something that you need
Like it means everything

And I’m trying to make you feel that
This is for real, that life is happening
That it means everything
I’m just trying to make you sing

and that is where i'll start again. and that is where you realize that life is precious and that it is a gift.

4 days...

i leave for africa in 4 days. to me this is insane. i'm not sure how to wrap my mind around it. in around 5 days, i'll be halfway around the world. i've been thinking about this trip in some way or form for about a year and a half. and to think that it is actually 4 days away is just mind blowing.

in other news,
its been raining like a monsoon here. and lightning like no other. good times.

what old people do for fun

have a great day

welcome

i don't know if anyone is actually reading this, but if so...cool. this will be an undertaking that will be vulnerable and frightening at times. but hopefully enjoyable, encouraging, and beautiful all the same.

have a great day.